As It Goes

Now in life there are thing that are not so shocking. Everyone has a secret or a problem. You see I was raped about a year ago and now I have these issues. Bulimia, panic attacks, anxiety, mania, PTSD, and anger fits plague my everyday ramblings through this world. You see it's funny because when I was raped my husband was fucking around on me with another girl and after it happened he continued for six months. I am still with him. He has depression and is barely trying to get help. There are days where we want to kill each other or mainly I want to kill him but yesterday I was put back on meds after being off of them for six months and I wonder where this is all going to lead.

Work

So today was hectic. We weren't supposed to be at work but somewhere higher up they decided to work us on our off day because of this damn inspection tomorrow. If we win our bosses will get nice little remarks on there reports while we will get a pat on the back basically. I am tired now. I have been working on this so hard for so long I think my head was about to explode. So I started having a panic attack. Panic attacks are beautiful little things because for me they tend to jump up out of nowhere. My chest gets tight it hard to breath somethings wrong--somethings wrong---But what is wrong? Thats the ultimate question because while my mind is melting down I can't seem to figure out why. WHY? Nothing triggered it I just started loosing it. For what? Its embarrassing. I thought I had the anxiety under control but apparently not.